Eavesdropping jewel of last week

Girl #1: Can you move left? Your hair’s blocking my view of the screen.

Girl #2: Why don’t you move your chair some, it’s not like the prof’s gonna care…

Girl #1: You never know, he could undercoverly suffer from O.C.D for like… perfect chair order. His mental health seems fragile enough as it is, and I don’t want to tempt him.

Girl #2: Wait. What? What are you talking about, he’s crazy?

Girl #1:Well, crazy’s a strong word, but haven’t you noticed he’s worn the e-x-a-c-t same outfit to all the classes of both courses he teaches us? That’s weird as hell. And he rambles to himself a lot, which is also suspicious for mental stability.

Girl #2: Ha. He doesn’t smell, so I figure he’s just like one of those cartoon characters; you know how in shows they open their closets and have a million of the same outfit on hangers? … And I don’t think undercoverly is even a legit. word…

Girl #1: Sure it’s a word. I just said it. Hahah, yeah. Maybe colorblind, style challenged, and strange cartoons do. Sure. Hey, listen, there’s really not enough room up here for me to move my chair, so will you move your head, please?? I can’t see anything!

Girl #2: Well it’s not like this documentary’s interesting anyway. Definitely not worth having a stiff neck over. Plus, not only the weird cartoon characters have that same-outfit-all-the-time syndrome! Look at Bart Simpsons! He’s got to be the poster child of cool cartoon people!

Girl #1: Yeah…I guess. But still, there’s a quiz on this after we see it, and I’m not good at bullshitting stuff.

Girl #2: Ugh, just relax. So what’d you do last night?

Girl #1*Sigh* If I do badly, you’ll have it on your conscience! I watched more “Glee”. Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?!

Girl #2:O-M-G.

Girl #1: What?! What are you looking at me like that for?!
You’re not kidding, are you? You know what? Don’t even answer that, you hopeless child.

Girl #2: Whatevs…So are you gonna move, or do I really need to go sit all the way in the front row?

Girl #1:Yeah, go up front. I’m not moving for anyone who’s as gullible as you. Nuh-uh. Just not happening.

Girl #2: Okay. Fine. I don’t want to be a loner so I’ll stay here, but you’re mean and sour! Oh and by the way, your shoes put a clown’s clogs to shame. They really do.

Girl#1: So what? I’ve got big feet, nothing I can do about it. You, on the other hand, eat way too much pizza, and you have bigger belly rolls than me. Pig.

Girl #2: Bitch! I may have a bigger stomach, but your Confederation Bridge-long feet reek, and they stink up our dorm room! Use some foot odour controller, or something! And would you just move a bit, for Pete’s sake?!

Girl #1: No way that my feet stink, and dream on that I’ll move after what you just said! Pfffft. Especially not for someone who says “Pete’s sake”--That’s embarrassing.

Girl #2: Frig. You’re a gigantic doofus, and you’re stupidity inflicts the effects of a roller coaster of pain on my brain! Just stop talking.

Girl #1:Fine. Eat pizza till you die, and please watch the movie thing. You really need it for your education.

Girl #2: Oh shut it, will you? I wasn’t the one on academic probation last year! So if anything, we probably need it equally

Girl #1:That was really low, and it kinda hurt, but yeah….Let’s pay attention, I guess.

Girl #2: K.

(a few minutes later)

Girl #1: “Oh Dayuum! Dayyyuum, Girl! Can I tell you something? Dayum! The back of yo head, is ridickalous!”

Girl #2: HAHAHA! I can’t believe you even remembered how much I love that old video! Only you…Ah man….This whole thing was all pretty dumb, eh?

Girl #1:Yeah, it was. Sorry, girl. So we good?

Girl #2:Definitely. But about the smell of your shoes…

Girl #1:(death look) Don’t start. Look, the movie’s almost over, I have no idea what it was about after all. Do you?

Girl #2:Not a clue. Let’s ask, before the lights get turned on. Hey. Hey you! Chick sitting right in front of me with a lot of hair and an accent!

Girl #1:Oh, where are your manners? Her name’s Andréa, I think, she was in my group last week.

Girl #2:Andréa? Oh Dayum, Andréa. That’s a French-ass name, girl!

Girl #1:HAHAHA! Man, you have to stop quoting the “can I have your number” video, or everyone will hear us laughing. Alright. Let’s do this, there’s only three mins left of this. HEY! Andréa!

Me: Yes?

Girl #1: Yeah yeah, you. What’s the movie about, I saw you taking notes the whole time and actually paying attention. Help us out! Quick!

Me: Oh. Oh! Sorry… I um...I was..I was doodling. I really don’t know about the movie. Something to do with arts, and the transitions in styles from the olden days to modern arts? Yes. Something like that.

Girl #2: Alright, thanks anyway…

(The lights are turned back on)

Girl #1: Shit. She’s less helpful than I thought she’d be. She’s totally lying. Look at all that paper covered with ink..No doodles on’em. Pffft. Nerds.

Girl #2: Well, good luck to us, then, huh?





P.s: Confession-- Because I eavesdropped the whole time, I had to bull-shit the entire quiz too, and I’m also not any good at it. That is all.